[For those of you just tuning in, this is based on the 301 Lists that Darren Rowse’s List Group Writing Project brought together. You’ll find Chapter 1 here –> A List Becomes 301 Links in Story ââ¬â Chapter 1 ]
On the Airplane
Lizzie had just gotten comfortable, when as every frequent flier knows, the inevitable happened. She was interrupted by the guy sitting next to her.
“Hey! Want to hear about Keeping Sociable on Long Trips?” he said. “I’m Fred.”
“No thanks.”
“How about What to Expect When Youââ¬â¢re Not Expecting It?”
“Busy. Sorry.”
“Yazarken Dikkat Ettißim Kurallar”
“What?”
“Okay, then,” he said. ” ‘Pahk ya cah Hahvahd Yahd,’ or, Regional Linguistic Pet Peeves might interest you more.”
Listless Lizzie just turned and stared at him.
“Got your attention. Didn’t I? In your opinion, what movies are the Top 13 Black Comedies?”
“Excuse me?”
“I see you read a lot. Perhaps you’re more interested in Graphical Visualization – Making Sense Out of Data.”
“Were you at Successful Blog the night that we invited the Aliens?”
“I’m sorry,” Fred answered. “I noticed you seemed a bit listless. I was doing my best to offer some cheer. Do you need help Finding Time and Creating Balance? Do you know The Top Ten Important Aspects of a Game? Would you like me to explain Why I Tithe? Do you have a boyfriend? Do you need one?”
“No. No. Ah, no. No and no,” Lizzie said, still reading the Top 10 Reasons To Find an Event Planner for your Next Party, and not really listening.
“Then I guess you don’t need Wedding songs for the despair Generation, unless you like to prepare early.”
That’s when Lizzie went back to a list called, Seven Things Not to Do on a Plane, but there was no mention of talking to a guy named Fred. Fred was no Darren. That much was clear. She didn’t need 10 steps to improve your ESP, healing and psychic abilites to figure that out.
Fred Talks Money
Lizzie gave up on the chance for a peaceful flight. She asked Fred what he did for a living. He said he was financial advisor to Steve Forbes and Donald Trump. He offered to give her advice investments and trade deals.
“I can show you the Best Current Deals, Promotions, and Sign Up Bonuses.”
“Sure,” Lizzie thought, “Forbes and Trump — I bet he helps out Greenspan when Greenspan gets confused.”
“While you’re thinking of Alan Greenspan,” Fred interrupted.
“You read that ESP list didn’t you?”
“Let me tell ya the Top Ten Reasons to Love Digital Gold, Greenspan likes it. Sally Greenspan that is.”
“Maybe Fred is the answer to my listlessneess. I could use a challenge,” Lizzie thought. I’ll become an entrepreneur and make mounds of money.”
Our little flyer listened to Fred spout the 5 Reasons Why Every Entrepreneur Should Workout, 10 Ways to Immediately Start Saving Money, and The 10 Best Money Moves You Can Make. Soon she knew How Your Credit Card Can Earn You Money.
Lizzie started taking notes for the future.
Four Kinds of Money Making Websites You can Start By Yourself She’d hire someone to do that.
5 Ways of Marketing Salvation She’d outsource that little piece of heaven.
Non-Profit Websites Fred said to check out their business models.
Best of Small Biz Survival She’d have to remember to ask Becky what wasn’t the best about surviving?
“Hey, Lizzie. Let me tell you The 10 Things We did to Erase almost $9,000 in Credit Card Debt in Less than 6 Months, and then I’ll explain Five reasons why you should always buy in lots.
“What are you talking about? Every little kid knows about lots and lots and lots — who doesn’t want lots? Lots of money — Five things I would do if I had $20,000? Lots of chocolate — How to Gain weight without really trying (and the antitheses)? Lots of sleep — How to be a Better Sports Radio Caller? We all want lots of everything.”
Fred didn’t correct her misunderstanding. After all, he knew she wasn’t about money anyway.
“Oh Fred, you’re so silly, . . . I should have known better than to think I’d find the answer on an airplane tripl I read Manage your time by Mastering Conversation Stoppers. I’m glad I met you though. Quick tell me a story about Steve Forbes and Donald Trump. I need a nap before we land.”
But Lizzie didn’t sleep . . . she was thinking about kids, and lots, and lots, and lots, and Paris, and . . . emoticons.
But that’s what happens in ———————–> Chapter 3.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
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