Communication Breakdown
When something happens one, I figure it could be an accident.
When it happens twice I wonder whether something could be in the air.
In the last week, it’s happened three times. That makes me wonder whether I’ve got a problem.
The scenario was almost the same every time.
I told a friend about something I was working on. As it happened, the project was different in each case, but that didn’t seem to matter. Before I finished the second or third sentence, the person I was talking to began to tell me what the project should be.
Each person was turning my project into theirs.
I recognize this behavior. It’s been my own more times than I care to admit. They got the response I remember. I quit talking and let them decide what their project would be.
I knew that the people I was with were trying to help, but they didn’t listen to get enough information to know where their help would have made a difference. They simply started making new ideas.
Relationships and understanding come from listening to what folks want to talk about — dreams, desires, unexpressed needs and wishes — what they find marvelous, annoying, heartwarming, concerning, breathtaking. At least, that’s my experience.
Three times, though, makes me wonder. Maybe I should listen closely to the folks who aren’t listening.
Maybe I’ll find out what is making this happen.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
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