10 Skills Most Critical to Your Future Archives

Critical Skill 9: How to Have Positivity and Confidence Making Tough Decisions

April 13, 2008 by Liz

Let Me Think about That . . .

Life is a never-ending series of choices and decisions. Do I get up now or wait another minute? Do I sign this contract or hope for a better offer? Do I buy a new desk or upgrade my computer?

Some choices are fun . . . Where do I take my friends when they come to visit?
Some decisions are not so . . . Do I uproot my family or give up the great job in another city?

The fun ones speed up our thinking with endless possibilities. The not so fun ones mire us in thoughts of dead-end alleys. Sometimes, we forget that we have options about how we consider and respond to choices and decisions.

The Dilemma of Logic and Emotion

It’s almost impossible to find a child who doesn’t like to solve a puzzle or a riddle. Children usually find choices fun too — when the choices are simple or they can choose again. Decisions are a little trickier, because decisions cut off other options. Most adults don’t like big decisions any more than children do.

It’s the cutting off other options that often finds us in a dilemma. No answer seems the right one. Or worse, no answer even looks a glimmer better than another.

Our brains are made to sort information, make choices, and come to decisions. No decision is particularly frightful when we face it with raw logic. But logic alone omits a good part of what makes us human. We need our hearts and our personal goals to get to a grounded, well-rounded decision.

The issue is that our logic can be at odds with our intuition and emotion.

How to Have Positivity and Confidence Making Tough Decisions

A great decision is made from what we bring to the situation. We can’t change our views in response to every decision, but we can check our own and other folks’ views. If we open ourselves to test our thinking, a tough decision process can be one of positivity and confidence. Try approaching your next tough call in these ways.

Logic and Emotion Chart
Make a two-column chart. Label the columns, Head and Heart. Above the labels, write the decision you’re facing. Spend at least 15 minutes listing logical reasons in the Head column. List both the boldly important factors and the random, minor reasons. — Don’t value your items. — Write them all down. Do the same for the Heart column. Make each list as long as you possibly can.

When you look them over, notice which list you tried to make longer. (It will show itself by the number of minor reasons listed there.) That’s your subconscious saying what you want to do.
An Internal Board of Directors.
Each of these people would approach the question from a different viewpoint. Write 1-3 things each of them would see that you haven’t yet considered.
- A scientist.
- A mathematician or musician.
- An explorer or geographer.
- An artist.
- A teacher.
- A writer.
- A politician.
What new ideas did you find in their points of view?

These approaches to tough decisions help us stand outside our thinking. In the chart of Logic and Emotion, we weigh our head and heart, but we also see our intuitive or experiential bias. Revealing that subconscious bias can help us sort more quickly than the information on the list itself. When we consult our Internal Board of Directors, we open our minds to new ideas and new views.

Those new ideas and new views offer a wealth of contingencies and possibilities. The decision made from them will be grounded and well-thought. We can move forward with positive confidence about what we’ll do.

How do you get through tough decisions with confidence?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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Critical Skill 8: How to Know When to Act on Your Worries

April 6, 2008 by Liz

The Tiniest Bits of Information Don’t Come with Words

It was a huge boardroom with recessed lighting and a mahogany table. Beautiful bookshelves surrounded us on three walls. We were called together on serious matter. A huge print run of books was about to be burned. The question at hand was how the unacceptable feature made it into print. I had the luck of being only an observer.

The questions that were asked were designed to fix the process, not affix blame. Because of that, the meeting moved forward in a team fashion with everyone genuinely invested in finding the process flaw. One person, the newest and least experienced in the room, finally spoke when directly asked what she thought. With her words the answer came. “I always thought that was a little off, but I couldn’t say why.”

I learned a lot from that sentence that day. She knew all along, but thought that her viewpoint was naive. She didn’t credit her worry as a valid one.

How to Know When to Act on Your Worries

What I learned from my colleague that day has proved out over the years. Every time a book had a problem, the people who were working on it, always had some “feeling” that something wasn’t right. Just the act of doing something gives us information, not all of which we can express in words.

We gather intuitive detail from every experience. Every move that we make is stored in our bodies and our brains for us to use later. Trainers call the familiarity that our muscles get with certain movements muscle memory. Our unconscious also carries experiential memory of our lives. That information is useful in thinking things through, because it’s a true reflection of what we know and who we are.

Intuitive information can add valuable depth to a decision process. The problem is knowing when we’re working with intuitive information and when we’re working with a simple personal, emotional response.

One of the best ways is to listen while we give ourselves time to think.

Pay attention to random thoughts when you’re away from the problem or situation. Often our worries when we’re inside a situation don’t seem quite so huge when we’re away from the “maddening crowd” of tasks we have to do. The worries that pop into mind when we’re out walking the beach are the ones we should give our time to.
Let “high investment” conversations sit for a time. When you find yourself arguing for a point that seems like the only answer, and you know that the person with whom you’re discussing the choice has the opposite view. Decide not to answer for a few hours or a day. If you’re caught up in the argument on a personal level, as time passes the matter will mean less to you. If your argument was purely business, you’ll still feel much the same.
Sleep on a problem. Choose an idea that you’re working on. Phrase it as a simple sentence right before you close your eyes. Let your brain work on it while you sleep.
Pay attention to what wakes you up in the middle of the night and your first thought in the morning. Those thoughts are things your brain knows you should be acting upon.
When you are worried, find a way to act on the situation of concern. If you can do something, thoughtfully choose a an action to change things. If it’s not in your power, go to someone who is able to act and say, “I’m telling you this. It could be important or not. I feel a responsibility to share what little I see. I trust you’ll know whether to do anything.” Once your concern is stated and received, let it go. Trust in that those who can do something will do what they can. More worry will only disable you.

Worrying is not a bad thing. It alerts us to possible problems we might avert. Worrying without acting, however, can cloud our focus, drain our energy, and stifle our ability to think clearly. Channeling the worry into positive action keeps us moving forward with strength and in control.

How do you decide when to act on a worry?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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Critical Skill 7: The Opportunity Action Test

February 17, 2008 by Liz

Fast Information and Quick Decisions

Do decisions ever come too quickly? Is choosing among your options ever a problem? it seems the more plugged in we are, the more we have to move instantly. It’s stressful. The situation can become so overwhelming that we’re stuck, standing, staring, while the world keeps turning and opportunities pass us by.

A bias toward opportunity and action can help us stay on top of the situation. The key is to base that forward leaning with solid decision making.

The Opportunity Action Test

No one wants to miss a great opportunity. Yet we all do, because great opportunities show up when we’re not ready. They don’t announce their value, nor do they look much different from big mistakes we might have made.

So how do we have a bias toward acting on opportunities that doesn’t lead down a path of personal destruction? Here’s a list of questions to help you choose the right action when an opportunity comes your way.

Does this opportunity suit me? Know who you are. If we know our values and our skills, we can be realistic about projecting our success when an opportunity arises.
Does this opportunity take me in the right direction? Know your goals. We might be right for an opportunity, but it might not takes us closer to where we’re going.
Is the timing right? Opportunities are changes that involve risk. The amount of risk our lives can handle changes based on situations and circumstances. The right opportunity at the wrong time is a bad decision.
What relationships and expectations can you see? The goals and promises of an opportunity that come to fruition are a direct result of the relationships between the people who are a part and their expectations of each other and the endeavor.
What’s the loss if you do it? What’s the loss if you don’t?

Ask yourself those five quick questions. Verbalize the answers and you’ll know the appropriate action. No more getting stuck, standing, staring. You’ll be a part of the world changing and turning.

How do you decide when to act on an opportunity?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Need help finding a niche that fits you? Click on the Work with Liz!! page in the sidebar.