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You’re Only A Stranger Once

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The tagline for this blog jumped off the site at me the other day.

Liz says, “you’re only a stranger once.”

You're only a stranger once

The first time you encounter someone, whether it’s online or offline, you have a lifetime of possibilities floating between you. There’s no messy experience to muddy the waters, no shared history. As strangers, you are just two molecules floating around.

Kaboom.

The molecules collide.

Now the possibilities start to develop.

Will you share a laugh in your first meeting? Will the other person say something that violates your personal code, and immediately cut off the possibilities? Will you decide to have a second experience together?

I recently had the great pleasure to welcome a new customer who arrived via a two year long, circuitous series of molecular collisions both in real life (at conferences) and online. And the most wonderful thing is that, when each of the encounters took place, neither one of us had an “endgame” or “agenda” in mind, other than being open to meeting new people.

If you’re open to the possibilities, then the happy accidents can happen. And they happen more frequently, the more you put yourself out there. Magically, the byproduct of this open intention is that you can become a “super-collider.”

The beautiful tagline at the top of this page means something. Whether it’s your first comment, your first submission of a guest post, your first time attending a SOBCon event, your first time reading this blog, you’re only a stranger once.

Everything after that is possibilities.

Author’s Bio: Rosemary O’Neill is an insightful spirit who works for social strata — a top ten company to work for on the Internet . Check out the Social Strata blog. You can find Rosemary on Google+ and on Twitter as @rhogroupee

Photo Credit: pshab via Compfight cc

Find Your Ideal Peer Group

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You are the company you keep, online and offline

Finding a peer group that inspires and supports you is very important to the success of just about anything you do. If you find yourself frustrated or unmotivated, and can’t seem to make an internal change to remedy the situation, look around you.

Who are you spending time with? What blogs do you read? What books, magazines? Who do you go to the gym with?

If you want to take everything up several notches, seek out people who are successful doing what you aspire to do, and connect with them.

Action steps for today

Overhaul your blog reading.

Unsubscribe to the “debbie downer” blogger who is spinning wheels complaining about things, and find new writers who fill your brain with useful and inspiring content. Take a spin through Technorati or just Google “blog” and “keyword.” Better yet, just decrease the number of blogs you’re reading every day and start writing more!

Overhaul your offline friends.

It’s admirable that you want to help others, but make sure your mix of friends includes people who are taking action, going places, full of energy and happiness. Minimize your time with the “takers.” Be proactive about finding live events and local meetups that get you going. Check out Meetup.com for some possibilities.

Overhaul your online friends.

First, recognize who is a friend and who is a distant connection, just looking for a “like.” Find groups of connections who are helping each other, who aren’t looking over your virtual shoulder for someone more important to come along. Keep an eye out for up-and-comers you can grow with. Why not start a Triberr group among folks you admire and want to support?

Consider aligning yourself with a built-in peer support group like SOBCon. It’s just one example of an event that is also a year-round community. By taking the leap and extending yourself, you get a launching pad for your dreams. And who knows, someone out there may need YOU as a peer! Heck, you’re amazing.

Are you taking steps to surround yourself with the right peer group?

Author’s Bio: Rosemary O’Neill is an insightful spirit who works for social strata — a top ten company to work for on the Internet . Check out the Social Strata blog. You can find Rosemary on Google+ and on Twitter as @rhogroupee

Have Cool Traditions, Inside Jokes, and Shared Experiences

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Rosemary O’Neill

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Traditions, Inside Jokes, and Shared Experiences

If you’re trying to build a true community, you must incorporate this type of shared experience. It creates fodder for conversation, bonds people together, and acts as the glue that keeps members coming back for more.

Here are some ideas for creating shared moments in your community:

  • If a discussion starts to look like a “meme,” highlight it. Make t-shirts, write a blog post about it, create a Twitter hashtag.
  • Celebrate things. It could be birthdays, anniversaries, made-up holidays within your community…when people come together to celebrate something, they bond.
  • Practice some mild hazing. Welcome new members and make them feel included by having them accomplish some task or ritual.
  • Explain some of the traditions. It’s always good to have an “intro to our community” page where you spell out why every Friday is “post a picture of your desk” day.
  • Offer a shared “scrapbook” space where your members can post picture or videos.
  • Host offline meetups or video events. Seeing someone’s face definitely creates a shared experience.

Do you have any cool traditions in your community? How do you honor them?

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Author’s Bio: Rosemary O’Neill is an insightful spirit who works for social strata — a top ten company to work for on the Internet . Check out their blog. You can find her on Google+ and on Twitter as @rhogroupee
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Social Networking: Make It Imperfectly Human for Me

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New York City, Seth Godin, Ann Michael, and a Paper Flower

Favorite Paper Flower by Liz Strauss

In August 1998, I was wandering the streets in New York City. Later that evening our company sales conference would start. As I turned the corner somewhere near 33rd and Park, I was enjoying the view in a florist window. I walked two stores past. Stopped. Something I’d noticed had taken me. I literally backed up ten paces and went into that flower store. I came out grinning.

What had stopped me were handmade paper flowers — taller than I am. I had found a new friend for my presentation the next day. I left the florist with giant flower with a stem down to my ankles and greeted New York like a giant kid with a huge balloon. The flower has shared my office ever since. On occasion, it even sits in my desk chair.

In 2006, I returned to that same New York neighborhood for a Seth Godin seminar. I met Ann Michael. there for the first time. As we walked around the city, I’m sure I told her the story of that flower and the people who opened doors for me — the strange tall woman with a bag in one hand and unhelpful flower friend in the other.

I keep a white silk flower in a blue glass vase on a shelf in my living room. I bought the vase from a catalog. Then I bought the flower. They look stunning together, but they have no story.

This morning at Seth’s Blog something he said in May made me stop, like I did that day in New York City.

If you want to get noticed, don’t be so polished. . . . When in doubt, scrawl make it human.

White rose in a blue vase by Liz Strauss

I looked around for examples in my life — and I found two flowers . . .

That white rose in the blue vase is elegant, but that that paper flower connects me to people — people who’ve seen it in my office or heard the tale of how it got bought. That paper flower calls up so many stories, it could fuel a blog.

When you make a blog, a social network, or product for me, could you make it imperfectly human? It’s human touch that lingers and connects.

What do you have that’s like my paper flower?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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Images: Liz Strauss