“The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work.” –Harry Golden

The Blame Game

We live in a lottery culture. Instant gratification is the working model we are presented with most times. If it doesn’t happen right away, then most folks tend to give up.

When they give up they tend to fall into one of two categories, both of which are looking to find a place outside themselves to affix the blame for their lack of success. I guess our psyches are somehow wired in such a way that as long as there is an outside source that we can point to as the cause of our circumstance, then we can press on without facing the pain of actually working though our own part in events leading up to where we find ourselves.

This blame phenomenon is so prevalent in our culture that we used to joke about it when I was in the Navy. “It doesn’t matter if you fix the problem as long as you fix the blame.”

The first category of blame fixers either point to some entity as the cause of their circumstances (“I can’t save any money because the government taxes me too much.”) or they will double down on their circumstances and blame one circumstance for another (“I can never be wealthy because I was born poor”).

When I ask one of these folks how they are doing I’ll probably hear something like, “{Sigh} OK. Under the circumstances.” I want to fire right back, “What are you doing under there?”

But usually I don’t. [Read more…]