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Post Card 5: Dr. Lei, a Hypothesis, and the Mystery Is Solved

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Post Cards from the Fake Liz Strauss (written by the real one)

I figure if Dan Lyons can write the fake Steve Jobs, I can do one better . . . I’m writing these post cards before I go on the UK trip with Ann Michael. Consider it a fictional account of real people we might have met, real places we might have visited, and real things that did or didn’t happen as told by the fake myself. Some things actually might have occurred. Like I said, I’m writing this before we go. –Liz

Re: Dec. 6, 2007

Hi, Everyone!
On Thursday morning, we awoke still living under the threat of the mysterious land shark. The London Online Conference Hall was ending. Would the shark be let loose?

At noon, I had a lunch meeting with Dr. Hsien, Hsien Lei. We met in the dining room of a famous hotel.

Claridges Hotel

She put forth a scientific hypothesis about the land shark which, when we tested it, turned out to be true.

The shark was the only decent picture that the web dev guy had on his hard drive when he was building the site.

So our mystery was solved.

Ann headed back for the States this afternoon. I get to meet some cool folks at lunch today, a dinner tonight, lunch again tomorrow — and those are just the ones who blog. Then on Sunday, I get to come home.

Yours truly,

Liz's Signature

The Fake Liz Strauss

PS When I’m not catching up with folks at mealtime, I’ll be in my room ironing my clothes.

Post Card 4: The Taxi Ride

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Post Cards from the Fake Liz Strauss (written by the real one)

I figure if Dan Lyons can write the fake Steve Jobs, I can do one better . . . I’m writing these post cards before I go on the UK trip with Ann Michael. Consider it a fictional account of real people we might have met, real places we might have visited, and real things that did or didn’t happen as told by the fake myself. Some things actually might have occurred. Like I said, I’m writing this before we go. –Liz

Re: Dec. 5, 2007

Hi, Everyone!
Tuesday night, at the blogger movie premiere we had close call with the bloggerrazzi. Luckily, no one was hurt or went to jail. It seems they wanted pix of Ann and I for the tabblogs, but we pulled out our sunglasses, head scarves, and superhero invisibility capes. We lost track of them in no time at all.

We spent hours on Wed. at the London Online Conference Hall. The only hint of a shark we saw was some spilled water on the floor. It was time to pull in some serious help.

We turned first to a London taxi driver. They seem to know everything.

Sherlock Holmes Museum Baker Street photo by Kjetil Bjørnsrud

We asked our driver about the mystery of the land shark and told him of our concerns. He gave us his philosophy of life and a complete tour of the city. We saw sights that even Londoners will never know — places our driver suggested that land sharks might hang out. We asked question after question about land shark sightings. He made up the answers as he drove until we tired him out.

Then he delivered us to Baker St. He said to ask for a guy named Holmes.

The Holmes guy told us to make an appt. with a guy named Watson. We made a reservation for dinner instead.

Yours truly,

Liz's Signature

The Fake Liz Strauss

PS That night we needed refueling so we took Kevin up his offer to meet other bloggers at a pub. Maybe they would have information from the underground about a land shark invasion related to the London Online conference.

Post Card 3: Maybe the Bridge?

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Post Cards from the Fake Liz Strauss (written by the real one)

I figure if Dan Lyons can write the fake Steve Jobs, I can do one better . . . I’m writing these post cards before I go on the UK trip with Ann Michael. Consider it a fictional account of real people we might have met, real places we might have visited, and real things that did or didn’t happen as told by the fake myself. Some things actually might have occurred. Like I said, I’m writing this before we go. –Liz

Re: Dec. 4, 2007

Hi, Everyone!
We checked in at the conference on Tuesday. Still no one would give up any information about the mysterious shark.

Meeting after meeting found us talking about Web 2.0, social media, blogging, and content. Could we get a person to budge on something about the toothy predator? They showed no interest at all.

Then it dawned on us, which is quite a feat since it was late afternoon. We looked out our hotel window and saw a location that might hold a clue.

Ann and I called John Dodds to say we’d be delayed on our way to dinner, and we were off to see the famous bridge.

tower bridge

We were told that the original famous bridge is now in the southwestern USA. So we settled for this one — which has no appearance of falling down. That was a minor disappointment, for sure.

The bigger disappointment was that no one near the bridge had any information about sharks at all.

Yours truly,

Liz's Signature

The Fake Liz Strauss

PS That night we accompanied John to a movie premiere exclusively for high-power bloggers. Our responsibilities to our industry had to take precedence over our charitable endeavors and our quest to save the world from land sharks just this once.

Post Card 2: Land Shark?

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Post Cards from the Fake Liz Strauss (written by the real one)

I figure if Dan Lyons can write the fake Steve Jobs, I can do one better . . . I’m writing these post cards before I go on the UK trip with Ann Michael. Consider it a fictional account of real people we might have met, real places we might have visited, and real things that did or didn’t happen as told by the fake myself. Some things actually might have occurred. Like I said, I’m writing this before we go. –Liz

Re: Dec. 3, 2007

Hi, Everyone!
When we got back from lunch, Sunday, two handsome young men who said their names were Harry and Will, showed us up to our rooms. They said they were in town from their travels visiting their family who stay in the “palace.” Our room was called the tower, the jewel of the place. Apparently, it has a huge history.

We asked Harry and Will if they were bloggers. They answered with a shrug and said polo was more of their game. At that point we figured we might not have a whole lot in common. They wished us well and hoped we fared better than previous guests of the room — whatever that meant.

Bags emptied. Stuff put away . . . we did our knitting and retired for the night.

Monday saw Ann and I off to the conference. Immediately upon arrival, we started asking why someone had chosen to put a shark on the conference website. It seems no one would reveal the mystery, which only made the question more tanatlizing.

What does a shark have to do with Online anything?

In the afternoon, Ann went off to do some sleuthing on the shark mystery. I met with Kevin Dixie to find fuel for our investigation. He suggested beer.

Yours truly,

Liz's Signature

The Fake Liz Strauss

PS We spent the evening reading old transcripts of Saturday Night Live, studying up on Land Sharks.

Post Card 1: Just Got to the Hotel

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Post Cards from the Fake Liz Strauss (written by the real one)

I figure if Dan Lyons can write the fake Steve Jobs, I can do one better . . . I’m writing these post cards before I go on the UK trip with Ann Michael. Consider it a fictional account of real people we might have met, real places we might have visited, and real things that did or didn’t happen as told by the fake myself. Some things actually might have occurred. Like I said, I’m writing this before we go. –Liz

Re: Dec. 2, 2007

Hi, Everyone!
We’ve landed safely at about 11:00 a.m. London time and we’re exhausted. should have slept on the flight coming over, but we both worked, and worked, and worked instead.

With an 8-hour flight and a captive audience like that, we couldn’t pass up a chance to put on an impromptu seminar on blogging. By the end of the week, the blogosphere should grow by another hundred blogs.

Then there was the incredible paper work that comes with changing the world. . . .

The 80-mile foot trek through Heathrow to the passport station was relatively uneventful — if you don’t count the girl, dog, scarecrow, tin man, and lion who walked alongside us on our way there. (They said they were headed to meet an important man in a small town called OZ. I didn’t know that was in England. . . .)

At the passport checkpoint, the man asked why we came. We said we were bloggers attending a conference. I think he heard “floggers,” because he said to encourage our friends to give the poor sods a break if we could.

Tower of London, seen from the river, with a view of Traitors Gate, created by Viki Male 17/09/03 16:38

We had chartered a special private train into the city, complete with private staff and a three-course meal, for only us and our baggage. It didn’t come so we took the same train as everyone else.

The ride in was smooth, except for the jolting ride part.

Our hotel is the most expensive hotel in all of Europe — you could call it a castle. I’ve heard that some people do. More on that later. We’re out the door for lunch with Karin H. . . . YEA!

Yours truly,

Liz's Signature

The Fake Liz Strauss

PS We spent the night knitting sweaters for poor children in Siberia.