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Giving Dots

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Tomorrow will be Thanksgiving Day in Canada. Thanksgiving conjures up words like harvest, community, celebration, thanks . . . and giving.

Have you ever thought of your blog that way?

Every time we post, it is a gift. We determine what kind of gift we will be giving.

Gifts are meant to be free.

Free means no expectation that people will comment or link.

Gifts are voluntary.

We have no obligation to blog. Voluntary means when a blogger feels like giving.

Not everyone will like your gift.

A gift is not a contract to please. Voluntary means no obligation to receive.

While the act is immediate, the intent is timeless.

A gift posted now, could be read today, tomorrow, or 6 years from now.

That gift is a transfer of something from us to others.

What was it you were trying to say?

Gifts are given, not shared.

I used to think that blogs are moments and knowledge we share. Sharing somehow means we haven’t let go. Perhaps we should rethink. Are our words best shared or given without reserve?

A gift, no matter how big or small, is still a gift.

Appreciate the act of giving and the giver first, then enjoy the gift for its heart not for its value.

The best gifts are unexpected.

Perhaps it is why we continue to write and read. We find that story that inspires us, makes us laugh or, just as often, makes us cry. Little do we realize that those moments, in some intangible way, change our lives forever. Imagine you could erase every blog you read from your memory. Would you feel empty? Surely I would . . .

Then there is the reciprocity . . .

What is the harvest? the conversation, of course!
Blog posts are created in response to ours. Comments are left because we started a conversation.

This thankful dot went looking for dots to connect this week. Instead, of 1 or 2, I found the blogosphere. So rather than name a few,

This post is really for YOU!

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You made me think . . . why isn’t every day a Thanksgiving Day?

May the dots be with you! . . . and thank you.

Vern, The Idea Dude

Serendipitous Dots

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Connecting dots with The Idea Dude

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Serendipity

Definitely one of my favorite words

… desirable discoveries by accident. (as defined by Dictionary.com)

Writing for “Connecting the dots..” is entirely driven by serendipity. There is no plan, just a gentle meandering through the blogosphere and going wherever the words will blow me. Of course, it comes with an element of fear, like going on a world tour with just a backpack and no known destination. What will Vern say next? Usually I have no clue…

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Liz is intentionally serendipitous. You’re only a stranger once! she always remind us. I suspect if she was the captain on the Starship Enterprise, we would regularly hear her say…

Permission to engage!

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That was the message I got from Richard, the ‘Company Doctor’, When you go to a networking or marketing type event, the ONLY purpose you have is to “organize a cup of coffee”. It is asking for permission to engage, to explore syngergies of minds and souls.

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Speaking of coffee, head on over to the other side of Liz and listen to her describe serendipity waiting to happen. Actually, I was blown away by the way she described the girl. …she was a photograph waiting to happen. I wish I wrote that!

Just yesterday I walked out of Starbucks and caught the eye of someone. In that split second, it felt like there was a real connection. I know because I spent the rest of the day wondering why I didn’t say anything. Lost serendipity, methinks. I’m sure you’ve encountered moments like that.

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Of course, serendipitous moments are most likely to happen, the more you allow the world to touch you. For example, taking the subway train every day instead of driving is more serendipitous as OmegaMom found out. She recounts her joy of finding a busker who could touch her with beautiful music. She is indeed wistful for those days of serendipitous music providing a sound track for my city life.

Hmm, I think I need to slow down my frenetic life enough so serendipity can find me

May the dots be with you!

Vern, The Idea Dude

Unconditional Dots Between Fathers and Daughters

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Liz challenged me to write about a topic quite a while back. For the longest time, it never got written. Like seeing the first rainbow after rain, some things are just so darn hard to put into words. I was relating to her how my daughter danced into my life 13 years ago and this year literally danced into the world with great success. I was so proud. Liz said…

Why don’t you write a post about fathers and daughters? …this is it!

As long as I can remember, my daughter never walked to me. She always ran, whether it was at the airport, meeting her at school or anywhere where there were more than 20 feet between us. She ran.

This week, as I walked through the front door, she bounded down 2 flights of stairs, flung her arms me and hugged me like there was no tomorrow. When I asked what was so special, she simply said…

Just because…

At that moment, the clarity she brought to our relationship blew me away. Why should there be reason?

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Liz’s dad understood this long before I did. So it’s not surprising that he features so prominently in her blogging goal. Most daughters are proud of their fathers, as they should be. I won’t try to convince you how outstanding mine was. I’ll just tell that it is so. Her dad was not just part of her legacy but surely part of her destiny too.

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I suspect that Connie’s dad helped her realize that every dot connects. This lifelong Daddy’s Girl tells us one of the best gifts he gave was her conversational heritage.. He connected to Connie in a very special way and now she adds that “special” to all the dots she finds.

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There is nothing more beautiful than the tribute that Sheena wrote for her father. The ending is priceless…


He’s the man who gave me more
Than ever I could see
And now that I am grown
His heart lives inside of me…

Can’t think of a better way to end this post than with two lines from John Mayer’s song about Daughters.

I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world…

May the dots be with you!

Vern, The Idea Dude

Soulful Dots Speaking

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Connecting dots with The Idea Dude

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Perhaps it is archaic education or upbringing, there always existed a distinct difference in my mind between writing and speaking… Reading and writing was a passive, distance activity whereas speaking and listening was an active and intimate experience.

…until now.

Over the past months, I started to speak and listen through my blog.

The words were not just the medium, they were proxies for my voice just as your comments were for yours.

Is it so radical? you may ask.

I think it is, when you read, you want to be educated or entertained. When you listen, you want to be engaged.

When you write, you want to inform or enlighten, when you speak, you want to participate and elicit a response.

It is a question of intent, something that is beginning to change the face of the blogosphere.

The intent to converse and engage…

If that is your intent, then listen to these dots…

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Liz spoke this week of what it takes to be a superstar conversationalist. We have to be imperfectly human to draw a response and then be active listeners.

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Ann made me wonder, Maybe we need to listen to someone else’s interpretation of the conversation that can only come about if we start a conversation and then leave space for a response.

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As a parent, I love reading bloggers describe their experiences with their children. When Nesting Momma spoke about her child, falling from the nest, I realized I was not reading but listening when she spoke about, It will happen often, daily, yearly even in her adulthood; she will make mistakes, have accidents and fall from the nest. I am so honored to be the one that gets to pick her up, dust off her wings and give her wind to fly again.

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Robert told us a joke to end the week, it was pretty much the same way I related it to my son. For me, Robert is a story-teller first and a writer second. Isn’t that the way it should be?

Perhaps, the word blog has already outlived its usefulness because for many of us,

we’ve already taken it far beyond where we found it.

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Instead of saying I read a hundred blogs this week, I really heard a hundred souls speaking..

I am truly blessed.

So which dots spoke to you this week? pray tell!

May the dots be with you!

Vern, The Idea Dude

Conversational dots

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Connecting dots with The Idea Dude

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The conversations within the dots…

Blogs started as personal logs. Today they are catalysts for engagement.

The Cluetrain Manifesto said it best…

When you think of the Internet… think of a table for two

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Ron was the catalyst for my thinking this week. His 7 tips to not be invisible was a strong reminder that whether in the virtual or real world, too often we forget to participate, preferring to be Lurkers are those people that read blog posts, message boards and other online community sites but do not participate. His call to action was

If you are investing time to read, why don’t you invest a few moments more to add to the discussion and create some visibility for yourself? It gets easier the more you do it and people appreciate the participation.

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Does it make a difference?

Sure it does. You’re invited to visit Citimama’s Project Life Change. I’m sure she felt wonderful to know her readers support her in her decision. Comments like You have me totally inspired! and I know how difficult that decision can be shows me this. She connected with her readers with her words, they reciprocated with their hearts.

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Mingle, or stay single

Amanda’s post about the lost art of mingling? equally applies in the virtual world as it does in the real world. Successful bloggers have a secret and it’s not Digg. They mingle… usually through blog comments. That is the biggest travesty about RSS feeds, the convenience it affords us means we consume content rapidly, never stopping at blogs and letting them know something we read moved or inspired us.

Without participation, there is no conversation

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If you want to change the world today…

Haydn asked that question on his blog wondering whether he should write a book. I selfishly implored him to blog instead so rather than wait a year or more for his wonderful insight, I could engage him in his thinking everyday perhaps taking him on different paths as he would me.

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Winning with dots

Every week, I’m thrilled to post here. Liz gave me a bigger soapbox and best way to describe what I do is a quote by Zig Ziglar I found thanks to the winning attitude.

The greatest good we can do for others is not just to share our riches with them, but to reveal theirs.

All of a sudden, I’m feeling kinda warm all over. Secretly, I think Liz figured this out long before I did.

May the dots be with you!

Vern, The Idea Dude

Simple Dots

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Life is simple, we make it complex.

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I took Joel’s advice to forget the sensational and look for the simple pleasures. We look at all the wonderful details of the good moments. We find the intensity in life’s simple moments, and simple pleasures.

This week I breathed pure air on a mountain 7,500 feet high, looked down a gorge 230 feet below, was dwarfed by trees 200 feet high and watched salmon jump upstream.

For me the simple became sensational.

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Simple things reminded me of what I read earlier today about what life is all about.We tend to forget about others in our pursuit for excellence, knowledge and improving self. Oh, I need to get this certification, I need to do it by this day, I need to …. I forgot that it was summer, I broke the promises, of going for a walk, riding the bike, many many times..

At this point, I decided to stop looking for dots this week, because they were right here next to me all the time and each needed a hug on our last day of vacation.

Must be the full moon this week, I read Liz’s post I’m dying to blog tonight… but I just don’t feel like it. In my case, I’m dying to blog tonight, but if I do, I risk missing my plane back to civilization in 4 hours and I need my sleep.

Sometimes life truly is that simple.

May the dots be with you!

Vern, The Idea Dude