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Post Card 2: Land Shark?

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Post Cards from the Fake Liz Strauss (written by the real one)

I figure if Dan Lyons can write the fake Steve Jobs, I can do one better . . . I’m writing these post cards before I go on the UK trip with Ann Michael. Consider it a fictional account of real people we might have met, real places we might have visited, and real things that did or didn’t happen as told by the fake myself. Some things actually might have occurred. Like I said, I’m writing this before we go. –Liz

Re: Dec. 3, 2007

Hi, Everyone!
When we got back from lunch, Sunday, two handsome young men who said their names were Harry and Will, showed us up to our rooms. They said they were in town from their travels visiting their family who stay in the “palace.” Our room was called the tower, the jewel of the place. Apparently, it has a huge history.

We asked Harry and Will if they were bloggers. They answered with a shrug and said polo was more of their game. At that point we figured we might not have a whole lot in common. They wished us well and hoped we fared better than previous guests of the room — whatever that meant.

Bags emptied. Stuff put away . . . we did our knitting and retired for the night.

Monday saw Ann and I off to the conference. Immediately upon arrival, we started asking why someone had chosen to put a shark on the conference website. It seems no one would reveal the mystery, which only made the question more tanatlizing.

What does a shark have to do with Online anything?

In the afternoon, Ann went off to do some sleuthing on the shark mystery. I met with Kevin Dixie to find fuel for our investigation. He suggested beer.

Yours truly,

Liz's Signature

The Fake Liz Strauss

PS We spent the evening reading old transcripts of Saturday Night Live, studying up on Land Sharks.

Post Card 1: Just Got to the Hotel

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Post Cards from the Fake Liz Strauss (written by the real one)

I figure if Dan Lyons can write the fake Steve Jobs, I can do one better . . . I’m writing these post cards before I go on the UK trip with Ann Michael. Consider it a fictional account of real people we might have met, real places we might have visited, and real things that did or didn’t happen as told by the fake myself. Some things actually might have occurred. Like I said, I’m writing this before we go. –Liz

Re: Dec. 2, 2007

Hi, Everyone!
We’ve landed safely at about 11:00 a.m. London time and we’re exhausted. should have slept on the flight coming over, but we both worked, and worked, and worked instead.

With an 8-hour flight and a captive audience like that, we couldn’t pass up a chance to put on an impromptu seminar on blogging. By the end of the week, the blogosphere should grow by another hundred blogs.

Then there was the incredible paper work that comes with changing the world. . . .

The 80-mile foot trek through Heathrow to the passport station was relatively uneventful — if you don’t count the girl, dog, scarecrow, tin man, and lion who walked alongside us on our way there. (They said they were headed to meet an important man in a small town called OZ. I didn’t know that was in England. . . .)

At the passport checkpoint, the man asked why we came. We said we were bloggers attending a conference. I think he heard “floggers,” because he said to encourage our friends to give the poor sods a break if we could.

Tower of London, seen from the river, with a view of Traitors Gate, created by Viki Male 17/09/03 16:38

We had chartered a special private train into the city, complete with private staff and a three-course meal, for only us and our baggage. It didn’t come so we took the same train as everyone else.

The ride in was smooth, except for the jolting ride part.

Our hotel is the most expensive hotel in all of Europe — you could call it a castle. I’ve heard that some people do. More on that later. We’re out the door for lunch with Karin H. . . . YEA!

Yours truly,

Liz's Signature

The Fake Liz Strauss

PS We spent the night knitting sweaters for poor children in Siberia.

Desperado: The 7 Payoffs of Making Your Blogging Relationships Suck

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Freedom

campfire

The message from Kristen King came three days ago. It was cryptic. All it said was “I just tagged you for a meme on bad blogging habits.” I followed the link on how to make your blog suck. Hmmm. This was serious.

It HAS been a while since I’ve promoted blogging for desperadoes. Kristen King’s post is spectacular, but making your blog suck might not be enough — stalwart friends and fans might still bother you. So, let me explain the payoffs of making your relationships suck too.

Desperado: The 7 Payoffs of Making Your Blogging Relationships Suck

I’m all about relationships, but I also have room for other points of view. If you’re a desperado, who needs no one. I can help you enjoy the payoffs of riding through the blogosphere alone. Here’s what to do.

  1. Make everything about your goals. Bloggers talk about how to be better, faster, achieve things less expensively. Don’t waste time on the conversation. Put things into action. You know where you’re going.

    If you focus on where you’re riding, you’ll be in known every town you ride into.

  2. Steer clear of social networks. That’s where information gets passed on. How could other bloggers’ research and wisdom possibly be of use to you? You’re something that has nothing to do with them.

    Avoid them, you’ll have more time for your own thoughts, ideas, and plans.

  3. Know it’s lonely at the top. If you wanted to be with the group learners, you wouldn’t be a loner. Right? You’re a thought leader let them learn by watching you.

    Save time on research and won’t have to read or listen to anyone.

  4. Have hard rules and stick to them. Bloggers have WAY MORE personality than any desperado could possibly need. Stand out by standing up without moving.

    Believe me, the blogosphere will notice.

  5. Pay no attention. Ignore them. Bloggers see and report everything. They even add new insights and thinking. It can be distracting.

    Avoid what the blogosphere is doing, your ideas will perfectly and purely your own.

  6. Only interact with folks who count. Do the math and figure out an algorithm, a game, a list for gathering links that requires no conversation. It’s business to keep your distance. Focus only on the folks who do something you need to get ahead.

    If you don’t talk to the talkers, they can’t ask you for anything.

  7. Don’t let them see you smile until . . . well, not then either. If you respond, you’ll have to manage a relationship. Sartre said. “Hell is other people.” Keep your gig solo.

    Freedom!

Desperado, when you strike out on your own, the payoffs can be more than you might ever expect. So, go for it and . . . um, er, . . . and the blogosphere might wish you well if you keep on going. . . .

Of course, I’ll miss you and wonder whether the Eagles were right . . .

Your prison is walking through this world all alone.

But then I’d never hang out by a campfire alone.

On the other hand, some of my best friends do.

Oh, never mind.

To the Desperado in every one of us: Happy Sunday!

–ME “Liz” Strauss

Related
How to Be Alive and 10 Ways to Celebrate It!
Top 10 Ways to Become a Miserable Blogger

Oh My!! EVEN MORE Brilliant Link Stories!!!

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The Stories Continue . . .

You might remember the A Puzzler for a Fun Post and a Little Labor Day Link Love. I offered you a fill-in-the-blank story and a directory of links with which to complete it. I even wrote one of my own for the fun!

I set up some silly rules and invited you to do the same thing. Then, oh, then I said these fateful words, “I’ll do something creative with the links you leave.” You were fabulous and wrote wonderful tales — each one uniquely belonging in a line with the rest. It was obvious that I had my work cut out for me.

First You Wrote These Stories

You were fabulous and wrote wonderful tales — each one uniquely belonging in a line with the rest. It was obvious that I had my work cut out for me. You might remember I listed them about a week ago.

I was starting to put together a tale from these titles, when more and more started coming in.

Then You Wrote Even More!!

It seems that the idea was a tiny bit contagious. New stories kept showing up at my door. They’re as brilliant and fabulous as the ones the inspired them. So I’m sharing them here too.

Do you think there might be YET AGAIN EVEN MORE?!!!

If you’ve not read any of these, do it now. They are brilliant and fabulous. Really.

Now about that doing something creative part . . . it’s going to take longer than I was ever suspecting.

I’ll be back before the year is out . . .

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

Related
Liz’s Thematic Links Story: Lorelle’s Blogging Birthday Quest
A List Becomes 301 Links in Story — Chapter 1

Blog Libs Stories — Aren't You Brilliant?!!

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You Make Me Look Like a Piker

You might remember the A Puzzler for a Fun Post and a Little Labor Day Link Love. I offered you a fill-in-the-blank story and a directory of links with which to complete it. I even wrote one of my own for the fun!

Then I set up some silly rules and invited you to do the same thing.

  1. Copy the unfinished story below into your post box.

  2. Fill in the blanks to finish the story. For most of the blanks use a blogger’s name, a trait, a post title, a blog title — get creative. Finish each sentence in an unexpected way. You can find plenty of links to spark your imagination at the A-Z directory.

  3. Link the text you added back to the blog or blogger you’re referencing.

  4. Be creative. Change the words or storyline as you wish in order to fit in the links you like.

  5. When you’re done, leave a link with the title to your version of the story in the comment box below.

Then, oh, then I said these fateful words, “I’ll do something creative with the links you leave.”

The Links You Left

I thought that rather than make you wait for the link love. Since I’ve got a doctor’s thing and a trip to the west coast this week, I’m compiling the list here. I’m starting with my own title and going down the line of those you left.

If yours or another you know about is missing, please tell me so that I can add it.

If you’ve not read them, do it now. They are brilliant and fabulous. Really.

Now about that doing something creative part . . . what was I thinking?

I’ll be back with something creative. After all, I promised.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

Related
Liz’s Thematic Links Story: Lorelle’s Blogging Birthday Quest
A List Becomes 301 Links in Story — Chapter 1

A Puzzler for a Fun Post and a Little Labor Day Link Love

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How-cool-is-this!!!

Here’s some fun for a Holiday Weekend.

  1. Copy the unfinished story below into your post box.

  2. Fill in the blanks to finish the story. For most of the blanks use a blogger’s name, a trait, a post title, a blog title — get creative. Finish each sentence in an unexpected way. You can find plenty of links to spark your imagination at the A-Z directory.

  3. Link the text you added back to the blog or blogger you’re referencing.

  4. Be creative. Change the words or storyline as you wish in order to fit in the links you like.

  5. When you’re done, leave a link with the title to your version of the story in the comment box below.

I’ll do something creative with the links you leave. I’ll collect the links to your titles at 2pm CST on Saturday, September 7, 2007, that way folks who are traveling can have a chance to play.

My version of the story follows the blank one.

Title: _______________________________

_____ was _____ , when out of the blue _____ . You might think this is strange,

but in _____ such things happen all of the time. Our brave and quirky hero knew

exactly what to do — _____ , but our brave and quirky hero had no _____ .

Seeking help for this dilemma, our hero headed down the road to _____ .

The road passed three creatures — each of them was more interesting than the

next. The first was _____ . The second was

_____ . The third was _____ . Our brave and quirky hero ran the rest of the way,

and when _she_ got there, she got another surprise!

“_____ !” our hero exclaimed.

“_____ ,” _____ answered.

“I was _____ , when out of the blue _____ .” our brave and quirky hero said, knees

shaking. “Could you spare _____ ?”

And so it passed that _____ gave our brave and quirky hero _____ AND _____

and all was well.

You might think this is strange, but in _____ such things happen all of the time.

Conversation Agent “ was practicing Essential Keystrokes, when out of the blue a Geek With Laptop appeared. You might think this is strange, but in the thinking blog such things happen all of the time. Our brave and quirky hero knew exactly what to do — She had to Manage to Change, but our brave and quirky hero had no Random Good Stuff.

Seeking help for this dilemma, our hero headed down the road to Polliwog’s Pond. The road passed three creatures — each of them was more interesting than the next. The first was Just Thinkin’. The second had been Sippin’ Whisky and frankly, he seemed long gone from this world. The third was Juggling Frogs. Our brave and quirky hero ran the rest of the way. When she got there she got another surprise!

“A Miracle Man!” our hero exclaimed.

“That’s me,” Dawud answered.

“I was practicing Essential Keystrokes, when out of the blue a Geek With Laptop appeared.” our brave and quirky hero said, knees shaking. “Could you spare 45 Things?”

And so it passed that Smart Wealthy Rich Dawud gave our brave and quirky hero 45 Things AND Six Degrees of Inspiration and all was well.

You might think this is strange, but in the thinking blog such things happen all of the time.

Liz's Signature