When he was in 6th grade, my son interviewed me for his school newspaper. He wanted to know what I liked about being publisher more than being a teacher. I said
I can make sure kids never have to read a boring book again.
I meant that.
The world has too many dead books already. We really don’t need to make more.
If you’re building a book, you’re investing real energy. Don’t you want to be sure folks will read it when you’re through?
For those who come looking for a short, thoughtful read, a blogging life discussion, or a way to gradually ease back into the week, I offer this Blogging Hypothetical Question.
A friend explains a situation with a potential client who works in a field that suits the friend’s skills, style, and experience to a T. The more you hear, the more you think that the client needs your friend’s help to grow his business. You know the guy’s on the level. You’ve met some of his clients. They speak highly of his work.
The client-to-be is an entrepreneur with important clients, and he’s stuck where entrepreneurs with important clients often get stuck. Your friend is an expert at helping people stretch and expand their dreams. She can show him where to go next, how to get there, and how to delegate. . . .
The problem is that he has some form of “bad date” syndrome. He says he’ll call Monday to set up a meeting — Monday, Monday — pick one the call keeps getting rescheduled. She says he calls with other questions, but doesn’t return phone calls or emails from her. Of course, he treats his clients differently.
Last week a meeting (time and place too this time) was made to set goals. Your friend wants to let the client know that now the work must begin. She knows that relationships that start shaky can turn out to be the best ones . . . but she’s starting to talk about her own disappointment not the potential client’s needs.
What advice do you have for her?
Is this client worth saving or all this time has she been “California Dreaming?”
–ME “Liz” Strauss
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I first met Tammy Lenksi last April when she commented on a post I wrote. I liked her right away because, she taught me something new and useful, and did so in a cheerful and inviting way.
I suppose that makes sense. Tammy is an expert at conversations that other folks might find uncomfortable. She’s Dr. Tammy Lenski of I Can’t Say That! She shows people how to have tough conversations that build relationships with confidence and finesse.
Over the time since that first comment, Tammy and I have shared emails and gotten to know each other. She’s told me about her thriving practice as a mediator, personal coach/consultant, teacher/trainer, author, and speaker. I had the pleasure to interview her recently and over the next few days, I’ll be sharing what she said. The first topic I wanted to know about was how someone gets a practice like Tammy’s going.
Hi Tammy. I suppose everyone’s first question is . . . what do you do — what is the BIG IDEA of your business?
I help people talk out their differences and build stronger relationships in the process. I do this in three ways: As a mediator, I help pairs and groups work through and resolve disputes at work and home. As a coach and consultant, I help women prepare for and learn how to navigate the conversations that matter most. And as a teacher and trainer, I help people learn how to engage difficult conversations successfully on their own.
My guess is that the second most asked question would be . . . how did you get to be a coach and conversation mediator and strategist?
Mediators, people who step into the middle of other peopleââ¬â¢s disputes, have to be both strategists and coaches. We have to be able to figure out the best strategy for sorting out a dispute and we often need to be able to coach people in staying focused on goals and conversing constructively, even when theyââ¬â¢re frustrated. I was a career coach many years ago, when I was first out of grad school, but itââ¬â¢s really my mediation work that brought me to the kind of coaching I do nowââ¬âpeople started asking me for individual help in instances where they didnââ¬â¢t need a mediator but still needed a sounding board, advisor, guide and ally.
How did you connect with your first client?
I had worked in senior leadership in higher education for years, so the day I formed my business I called five college presidents and deans I knew. I told them what I was now doing and asked, ââ¬ÅDo you see some ways I can be helpful to your institution right now?ââ¬Â Two of them said yes. It was my very first lesson in marketing: Youââ¬â¢ve got to ask.
So that’s how Tammy came to start her business. She asked and was ready when people came to her. She told me that being prepared, letting folks know what we do, and asking for business are the key — that she counsels other consultants to do just that almost daily.
Do you have questions for Tammy about what she does or how she got started? I know she’s more than happy to answer them. After all, conversation is a big part of her business.
Next, we’ll explore how blogging fits it to make her practice both personal and virtual.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
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[For those of you just tuning in, this is based on the 301 Lists that Darren Rowse’s List Group Writing Project brought together. You’ll find Chapter 1 here –> A List Becomes 301 Links in Story ââ¬â Chapter 1 ]
You might remember that at last look, our famed uncontrollable force and unpredictable influence, Lizzie and Amanda Congdon, leaving the studio of the International Blogging List Challenge! for parts unknown. The studio was in chaos after the Blogging 7th Heaven CanCan Dancers had roused the blogging audience into such a tizzy — blogging and applauding at the same time. (Which we have already established isn’t easy, if not completely impossible.)
Robert Scoble videoblogged the entire escapade.
The scoreboard read Arianna 600 Jeremy, Jeremy 200 Dave 200.
Rumor has it that the bloggers and the Blogging 7th Heaven People enjoyed a night of debauchery at 10 Rue Dante — an irony that I’d love to write about, but for once not a single blogger blogged the following 18 hours. They claimed a complete system failure — power, DS, and wireless — all out. Some spoke of eerie MySql errors written on the bathroom walls.
That lost 18 hours has gone down in blogging history as Blog Silence, Dead Feeds, and Dante’s New Level. Even Scoble’s video crew would only say, “We’re glad that MaryAm took you back to the hotel.”
The sun rose on a new day and gave hope to our contestants, the nationally syndicated columnist, author of ten books, international speaker and blogger, Arianna Huffington; the self-described serial entreprenuer, CEO and founder of Blog index Technorati, nationally known programmer, blogger, and blog sociologist, and friend of Janice Myint, David L. Sifry; and author, co-founder and president of b5 media, international blogger, traveler, speaker, and sometimes spy Jeremy, Jeremy Wright.
All three contestants were eating a quiet breakfast in the hotel dining room as they prepared for the show. Each was hoping not to embarrass his or her family, nation, planet, or galaxy — thereby causing an international incident of some sort. One was reading Ten Ways to Build Moats to Hold Back the Competition. Another was studying 5 Ways MyMoneyBlog Can Make You $100. The third trying to find the horoscope in the National Enquirer.
Our uncontrollable force and unpredictable influence were upstairs having their usual room service — a pizza with fresh tomato, a dozen chocolate-covered strawberries, and two bottles of Perrier-Jouet. This time they sat on the balcony discussing what to wear.
“I’ve done the black and white,” said Lizzie. “I think I might live dangerously and do deep, deep purple with a hint of pale pink.”
“That’s it,” said Amanda, laughing. “Blow that Alice-in-Wonderland image! Go for Purple Haze Jimi Hendrix. I’m wearing popurls Pearls from head to toe.”
That one day seemed to take forever. Each group had reasons why it took so long, but finally the lights, the cameras, the music, the announcements had happened and again the International Blogging List Challenge! was on.
Not to be just another SOB, I had to come by and thank Liz personally for including me here in her collection of certified SOBs. I will wear my badge proudly. It’s such an enjoyable departure from the web development and public television stuff that I usually deal in.
Frankly, there are so many fun things about blogging that tend to get lost behind the business end of it. I hope you don’t mind if I share a few things here that I will never be able to write about on my own blog where I must maintain a certain air of “authoritative professionalism” (which is a nice way of saying “stuck-up, self-importance.”)
If you’re like me, then you regularly check your blog stats for all sorts of important information like who’s visiting your site, how often, and, especially, how they’re getting there. When search engines like Google send visitors your way, it’s important–and sometimes quite fun — to note the specific search strings that got them there. The idea, of course, is to analyze your keywords and optimize your content to get more visitors based on what they’re searching for and what draws them to your site, etc., etc. However, there are times when that isn’t such a
brilliant thing to do.
I, for instance, routinely blog about my own unique style of writing perfect code or what I refer to as “anal coding.” It, therefore, doesn’t take a whole lot of imagination to figure out the kind of search strings that often manage to bring visitors to my blog (“Anal journey” is one of my favorites.) nor to assume that they probably left disappointed. Like this blog and the award that made it famous, that
was something of a purposeful malapropism — in this case, the use of a negative term as if it were a positive thing to strive for. I hope to be half as successful at it as Liz.
The thing is, there are always certain search strings in the list that simply make no sense. You’re left asking yourself questions like, “How on earth did someone find my website by typing those words into a search engine?” I’ve tried a few of these (No, not the anal ones.) and gotten 30 or 40 pages into the results without finding any mention of my site.
If we assume that our stats are not mistaken, then we have to guess that somehow for some unknown reason and for a limited amount of time every once in a while, the underlying search engine algorithms simply stop to daydream. Why not? It’s a complex system. Given the choice between daydreams and occasional hiccups, Iââ¬â¢m going with the daydream theory.It works for me. Then again, I’m of the opinion that PageRank is determined by who can flip a nickel closest to the wall, so what do I know?
If you think about it — and it’s best not to–podcasting is about throwing your voice literally around the world. It’s a ventriloquist act. If your blog includes a podcast, then you too have the unique privilege of hearing your own voice coming out of cheap, tinny computer speakers. I guarantee that this will remove any delusions you may ever have had that you sound eloquent or suave or erudite or anything else other than nasally and annoying. Every time I finish a podcast now, I
go and give my wife a long backrub and thank her for tolerating that horrifying sound for all these years.
Another thing about podcasting is that one gets to discover certain habits about oneself that are better left unknown. For instance, I have discovered that I have a tendency to take in a particularly snooty-sounding, deep breath right before delivering a long, self-serving diatribe of a sentence meant to make me sound important. These are things we always notice about others and never see in
ourselves. It’s not pleasant.
And then there’s the kids…
I work out of my own home. Lucky me, huh?
This means that, at any given moment, my children are likely to burst through the door screaming at each other about who did what. We won’t even discuss what I’ve gotten to learn about myself from that. Suffice to say that I’m glad it’s not a live show and that I’ve been able to look up all sorts of information about how to edit an audio file prior to uploading it. (BTW, this has also saved the world from numerous bad puns, the odd moments when I burst into song, and even the occasional belch.)
Thanks Again
Anyway, thanks again for the award and allowing me a place to ramble for a moment. It’s good to be able to drop the professional persona once in awhile and just be me.
——-
Hey, Timothy!
Thanks for this lovely thank-you card.
You chose a way to say thanks that is so perfectly in keeping with the spirit of SOBs and everything about this blog. What fun and how nice that you would take time to do this on a Saturday. That means a lot to me.
Liz
[For those of you just tuning in, this is based on the 301 Lists that Darren Rowse’s List Group Writing Project brought together. You’ll find Chapter 1 here –> A List Becomes 301 Links in Story ââ¬â Chapter 1 ]
Lizzie left the restaurant. She looked both ways and made a run for it. She didn’t stop until she got to Notre Dame Cathedral. Peace and blissful quiet surrounded her. She was overtaken by the beauty and the history. For the hour that she sat there, you might have convinced our idealistic young lady that she was indeed a time traveler.
Even when she left, everything she was shrouded in new, and powerful mystery.
As Lizzie stood on the bridge looking back at the old church building, she wondered about the Mystical Power of CSS code and The A-Z of RSS.
A man in trench coat walked past her and handed her a piece of paper. “Destroy as soon as you read it” were the only words he muttered. Lizzie was grateful he was an introvert.
Still it was curious. The sun was shining. “Why the trench coat?” Lizzie thought. She viewed the piece of paper. It read 10 Indispensable (and Free) Web Resources for Students, Nine of My Favorite WordPress Plugins, 5 Ways to Improve your Affiliate Sales.
“What does that mean?” Lizzie wondered, leaning on the bridge and watching the water. Almost in answer a woman in a scarf and sunglasses, ala Jackie Onassis, stood near and said, “It means, I am the first of 10 Resources who will bring 9 Missives. You must deliver them to the address by 5 o’clock.” Then the woman walked off.
“What address==????” It was too late. She was gone, swallowed up by Japanese tourists reading aloud Top 12 Cameras of All Time: A Photo Enthusiastââ¬â¢s Perspctive [2006] and discussing 10 Ways to Make Your Digital Photos Last Forever.
A parade of white swans came down the water. When Lizzie looked up, the tallest, most handsome man was standing beside her. He was Pierce Brosnan crossed with Sean Connery with just a little Dennis Quaid twinkling in those eyes.
“Ah Leez,” he said. “I love your smile. Please take my hand.”
“Romance,” Lizzie thought at last. “I am Renee Russo in Paris.” Then she saw she had a List of Mouse Games in her hand and the handsome man was gone.
The third was a little girl in a blue plaid school uniform. She had a red balloon and handed Lizzie 5 games industry job interview tips.
“Do they have Star Trek Conventions in Paris?” Lizzie wondered as a Klingon walked nonchalantly to where she was standing to hand her 5 Ways to Use MySpace to Reach Your Readers. She was number 4.
Number 5 was a Darren Rowse look alike with 101 Questionsââ¬Â¦ Consumer, Political, Humorous and Starbucks. He made her wish for her computer and for a nice cafe latte with raw sugar.
Six and seven came together. They were delivered by two kids on a tandem bicycle — 5 links to calorie-conscious fitness and a Q&A: Low vs. High pathogenic Avian Influenza.
The eighth resource came by carrier pigeon.
Lizzie thought, “You’ve got to be kidding.” But there was this bird flying to her with a scrolled list on its back that said, “NY Times my arseââ¬Â¦ Here is where I get my news.”
“Actually, these days carrier pigeon is probably more reliable. I hear you don’t change photos in photo shop ever,” Lizzie said aloud to the bird before it left.
The Five Questions You Should Never Ask seemed to float down from the air. Lizzie found THAT more than spooky.
So there, she stood on the bridge with 9 missives to deliver somewhere by 5 o’clock. It was now about 11:15 in the morning, and she didn’t know where or to whom . . . or even whether she should.
Lizzie started walking. Standing had gotten her in the middle of some plot. Walking might get her out of it. She was just beginning to get that Five Reasons Why Mornings Rock feeling, until a shadow feel in beside her.
Lizzie froze in her tracks. [Read more…]